Imminent Viking Invasion in Prague

How on earth do you illustrate a modern Viking invasion? By: Nuala

Prague has already seen many invasions, the latest ones by tourist groups clogging the streets, blindly following their flock and trying to get hit by oncoming traffic in the middle of the streets. Sometimes, nationalities seem to come in waves: The seasons of German and English very audible voices in public transportation seem to be gone and the songs of Irish weekend travellers wearing soviet-style fur caps have faded, while carefully dressed Italian school kids and Russian high society snobs on their way to Kарловыи Bары (formerly Karlovy Vary) still populate the streets.

Today it is high time to get ready for the Vikings.

Around 6,000 of them – or translated to modern news language: Danes – are right now standing at the gates1 of Prague. About 100 policemen along with members of a special riot unit are ready to intervene.

This all makes me wonder whether it might have been overhasty and regrettable on the long run to reduce some of the core offices of the Czech Ministry of Defence, such as the “Office for the standardization, cataloguing and governmental verification of defence”2, which is commonly abbreviated to the handy acronym UROSKSOJ. Former elite fighters of UROSKSOJ (“Urosksojáři”?) will now be watching – hands in their pockets and with a smart sneer on their faces – how the destruction of zlatá Praha, hl.m. unfolds.

Injuries sustained by and from tourists so far seem to confirm that Prague is the place to get drunk and out of control. And all low-budget and anonymous.

My suggestion: In the spirit of cross-cultural communication, put the newcomers together with local football hooligans into a stadium and let them have their fun. And don’t forget to take a deposit before they enter.


  1. Terminal 2 – flights from and to Schengen countries
  2. Please forgive me my translation.

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